Old Poetic Nonsense

I had compiled some of my old poetic ramblings from other sources that I feared were on the verge of extinction. This will be their new home for the time-being, until I can find a better place to store all of the memories and moments.

"confusion is the rain upon this city of nightlights, buzzing and beeping in the synapses of pre-dream sentiments. a foggy haze, reality is left out of focus (for my own microscope has cracked under pressure). another surreality plays on the stage: melodramatic and full-fledged make-believe flash before minds' eye. what if's and could have's and should have's and possibilities flood down car windows as wipers fail and tires screech in hydroplaning agony. midnight drives always end like this. could end like this. would end like this...one flinch of the wheel and black would envelope the consciousness bleeding into pools, washing away with... confusion

life raw, cut into bite-sized segments for easy swallowing that even sugar would not allow; interrupted by buzzing on the window pain- the fleeting memory of real... pain. once in a lifetime and to haunt forever after, what was once a daydream is now suppressed as a nightmare. burnt match heads bear witness to the flightpaths of cigarette plumes. such lazy clouds dusted by anxiety, they never sang a more potent poison. five minutes can shock as cold as ice and pull the heart from places it never knew it was. glazed eyes lift up in aggravated dullness to the hope perched precariously on a pedestal as it falls into a thousand tears.

shaking hands pull at hair cut shorter than the wind would have chosen as eyes squeeze shut in pained attempt. no amount of darkness will obscure the monsters in the present. waves and diamonds cannot wash away the errs of a soul."


"one of those moments...where a particular memory fully envelopes your mind. the feel of the air... the scent which lingers is so universal, so omni-existent that it is deeply embedded in the roots of childhood. breathe in... the air reaches up, grabs a memory and yanks it to surface with all its might. gasp... in the overwhelming reality of the past... holding your breath... enjoying the moment and taking in a memory as if it were the very fist time... exhale... still walking down that path, stuck within the bounds of time once more. breath... breathe...breathe... the air nearly scintillating with purity found only in the ageless standard of time. who else has breathed memories into this air?

breathe in...

the touch, sights, sounds, all of that moment are suddenly real again and you're left standing in the sandbox with jelly sandals looking up at the sky as the maple "helicopters" spiral down. the distant lawnmowers hum away their jubilus decree that summer is upon us. stains on your shirt bring vague memories of freeze pops and koolaid. the world is a place of wonder and novelty, the orbit is still new for you and time is slow.

exhale...

breathe in...

now you're older, have obligations. you're getting out of your car for an early morning of work selling coffee and stress is nowhere on your mind because the sun is so beautiful and the air is that perfect temperature and you know that later in the day someone that loves you will be coming by and taking you somewhere. you shut the door and jingle your keys in a last act of rebellion towards the cause that pulled you out of sleep. walking to those doors you watch the early morning traffic full of hurried, sleepy, and fully human people.

exhale...

::when i saw them, my first instinct was to wonder about the amount of fat on their bodies for comparison. it was in glancing at the imperfections that i realized the immense beauty encased within this one perfectly human moment. it is within humanity that we find beauty... the unarguable real-ness embodied in two beating hearts::"

"thoughts and starvation, once my nemesis (and still), join irony as my companions. searching for escape (in suppliment, in stimulant, in prospect)... i am brought to the difficult position of choice and fear. stay, leave, or somehow else struggle through the unknown? i promised myself i wouldn't and now i spit upon commitment with disdain. a vindictive hearts burns as fire as eyes pierce with icy glare... you are at fault."

'how does it
feel?
think velvet
but thinner
like silk
smooth
soft
as a breeze
on a summer day
caressing
and kissing
every inch
of a beautiful
peaceful
existence
wondrous and
inquisitive
in every aspect
physical
emotional
social
spreading cool
refreshing
chills
with every movement
drinking in
surroundings
people
feelings
in a constant state
free from anxiety
worry
fear
the windows of the mind
allow others to peer
in
and you out
wonderful
amazing
tactile
intangible
everything"

"stature and line of sight (drive)
diminish into obscured mo(u)rning
pre-tense motivations fade (to grey)
the fork in the road now stabbed in my chest..."